Why does starting something seem so hard? On the way to sitting down to write this, I
- made myself a cup of tea,
- ate some chocolate, a couple of nuts and a piece of apple (which involved washing, cutting, and putting away the rest),
- cleaned out a window sill, struggling with opening the window as it was stuck, and then I was so amazed at all the gunk my EnviroCloth and EnviroWand picked up that I
- took photos and sent them to myself to print so I could share them at my Norwex party that evening!
At least I didn’t stop to print them!
However, I knew I was going to be writing, and was aiming to be open for inspiration to hit when I’d eventually sit down. I suspect there was a part of my consciousness that was working on it even through all of what looks like procrastination.
I had already bumped this item from my to-do list last week… So what might be in the way of me sitting down, even though every other time I have sat down to write, inspiration has come?
Maybe the time wasn’t quite ripe?
I also suspect there are old voices in my head still spouting things like “You’re not creative!” “Who wants to hear the wack stuff that goes on in your head?!” “Why do you think you can pass yourself off as someone who has something of value to share?”
But it’s not only about something “creative” like this…
Last week I had to do some serious self-talk to get myself to start making a stir-fry for supper. I was feeling a heaviness – I’m guessing as a part of my grieving process (see my previous blog post if you missed it) – and just didn’t want to do anything.
So what can I learn from this challenge of getting started with something? How can I work with it when it shows up?
What does help get me going is to identify the very first step. I told myself, “Just get the kale out of the fridge!” and then the next steps of putting it in the dishpan and washing it followed.
Just get the pad and pencil and sit down. That’s all I need to do – set the timer for 30 minutes, and if nothing comes, so be it. I gave it space and attention.
And as soon as I sat down, the first words came. I questioned it at first, and then went with it. I considered putting a disclaimer at the top of the page, “Warning! I have no idea where this article will end up!”
And isn’t that often the fear? We don’t know how or where something will end up.
And for the record, the kale was a little tough, due to previous procrastination 😉 , and I over-salted it, but hey, it was something to eat! Things don’t always turn out as desired or expected.
I’ve heard it said that time management isn’t about time management, it’s about self-management.
How do I work with my tendencies and patterns?
How can I get clarity in making choices about what to do and when?
How can I stop to reflect on the “why” and what it is I’m really wanting?
How can I stop and get conscious?
- I can take a breath and come into this new moment and come into my body so I’m making conscious choices, rather than being run by the litany of the habitual nay-saying voices.
- Beginning with consciously imagining my day first thing in the morning would be a good start. And when it’s too late for that, I can do it right then!
- I can remember what I’m really about rather than allowing my attention to be hijacked by external cues.
It starts with a conscious breath, a relaxing into this moment, no matter all the ways I looked like a squirrel earlier – skittering this way and that.
I can even bless all I did accomplish on the way to avoiding something else!
And I can lean back and know that it’s ALL OK! There’s an even higher perspective available when I step back from the judginess I feel when I’m “not doing what I should be”, when I didn’t set my intentions first thing, or even at all.
It’s ALL OK!
And I can, with good humor and great love, take my next step – even if it’s to get another piece of chocolate – and trust the Love and Goodness in which we are always held – no matter how good a job we did, or how much of the day we frittered away.
It’s ALL OK!
And when we do relax and trust, we are in a more aligned space and can bring more of that into the world.
It’s ALL OK no matter what!!
PS As always, you’re welcome to share your thoughts below.